As I’m sure almost every being on Earth knows, the world and its inhabitants have come up against the Coronavirus. Due to the severity of the Coronavirus and as a precaution to halt the spread of it, the place where I am employed has decided to close down for the remainder of March. While I understand the reasoning behind this decision, I cannot help but be panicked by it. Not for the reasons you may first believe, though.
I say that I am panicked because after learning that my workplace will be closed for roughly two and a half weeks, my first thought was how will I survive with my anxiety? I suppose it isn’t until now that I realized I used work as a sort of coping mechanism for my anxiety. When at work, I am consistently busy and my mind is occupied by almost anything other than my anxiety. It’s almost as if I get a break from my anxiety when I’m at work; my anxiety never truly goes away, but it is certainly lessened and not at the forefront of my mind when I’m at work.
So, now that I won’t be at work for a considerable amount of time, my mind keeps circling back to the fact that something may happen to me, but because there isn’t anyone expecting me at a designated time, no one will know if anything is wrong. I know that the likely-hood of anything being wrong is slim, but for this moment, my anxiety is fueled by that thought. My family lives a few hours drive away, so I cannot just pop over and say hey. And sure, I could meet up with a friend or two for a walk or a hike, while staying a few feet apart, but this doesn’t ease my anxiety much.
I know that I will get through this… eventually. The days are okay, but it’s the nights that are a struggle. The nighttime is when the day catches up with my mind; so my mind is working over-overtime and doesn’t want to pause or breathe or stop the overwhelming thoughts of chaos and panic. During the day, I’ll have chats with family and friends via the lovely technology that exists these days. At night, everyone is quieting down or going to sleep and then, here I am… trying to deal with my anxiety.
I have found that distraction is the best way to cope. Whether it’s reading a book or watching a movie or tv show, if there is something that captures my attention and doesn’t let my mind wander, my anxiety eases. Some nights are better, others are worse, but I keep telling myself that I will get through this. I will get through this. And you will too.
Please know you’re not alone in how you’re feeling. Reach out if you want someone to talk to, I could use the company as well. Seriously, please don’t hesitate. If you’re struggling, we can share the burden together… and who knows, maybe that will help dissipate it.
We will get through this.
Cheers, ET
Enduring Traveler 